Friday, October 17, 2014

Adult children of divorce

As I have mentioned before, my parents divorced when I was young. There is no doubt in my mind that it was the best decision for both of them. There is also no doubt in my mind that it was a hard decision for them to make.

I was one of the only children of divorce in my Catholic school (no surprises there), but as I reached high school, I realized that I had a lot of company. I met a lot of children of divorced parents, each with differing custody arrangements. Most of them were in their mom's full custody and got to see their fathers on Wednesdays and every other weekend. Others spent summers with their other parent.

And now, we are all grown up and talking about it. Which is a good thing. Because we are being honest with what we wanted as children. All that honesty is helping out our modern-day counterparts. A group of studies reveals that what children of divorced parents really want is open access to both their parents. The studies found that the parents who didn't have full custody wanted more time with their children. The studies also reveal that children wanted more everyday moments (bedtime routines, days at the park and eating meals together) with both parents.

And of course, more time with both parents, was seen as a huge benefit to children. Moms and Dads bring different skill sets and dynamics to their relationships with their children. Allowing a child to experience those differences, even if their parents don't get along, made children the happiest. 

What did you want more of from your parents when you were younger? Tell me in the comments.

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