You don't have to be perfect

We are all too hard on ourselves.

I came to that conclusion last year while I was listening to a member of my team at work over-apologize for something. It was something that wasn't even wrong. But she felt like she had made a mistake. She felt like she had done something imperfectly.

I started coaching my team to understand that they were human, and that I liked humans and that if they made a mistake it wasn't going to be the end of the world. I still remind them of these things today: Mistakes can be made; learn from them; forgive yourself.

I've been trying to repeat this mantra with my son, but sometimes it is a little harder as a parent. When I look at his tests and see a silly mistake, of course I want him to do better. But, even more, I should want him to understand that I don't expect him to be perfect.

He and I need to get into this habit now - before he is older and an obsession with perfectionism can take hold of him. The stories on that link of students feeling pressure to be perfect - whether it is from real external sources or internal sources - are heartbreaking. As parents, we should remind our children that perfect is a high standard to try to maintain. We should remind them that they are perfect to us just the way they are.

So, I talk to my son about doing his best and about learning from the times that he doesn't. And I tell him that I love him no matter what.

How do you help your child understand that their best doesn't mean being perfect? Tell me in the comments.