Friday, December 18, 2015

Breaking up is hard for everyone

I know that every marriage is different. I listen to girl talk. I hear from friends who let their husbands handle all the finances, and those that act as the family accountant. I hear from moms who think their husbands don't spend enough time with the kids and those that are happy with their amount of free time away from the family. I hear from women who joke about murdering their spouses several times a week and those that are careful to never say anything negative about their other half. I've learned that what works for my marriage won't necessarily work for yours.

And I think the same can be said of divorce.

My parents are divorced. And I don't know all the specifics around it, but I do know that it was as amicable as these things go and that they both loved their children and that they became happier people apart. And the specifics of that story is theirs and theirs alone.

Which is why I read this study around daughters' health being affected the most by divorce as a little suspect. I do not doubt that children's health and lives are affected by divorce, but I do wonder if boys are just as affected and not saying as much. When I read studies like this one which touts how children are affected by family breakups I have to reflect back on my own family life and wonder what would life be like if my parents had stayed together. Would their unhappiness have been worse for all of us in the long run?

When it comes to studies around things as personal as divorce, I take them with a grain of salt. Couples going through separation and the toll of breaking up and all the impacts to their families from those actions have enough things to worry about as it is.

What's the worst breakup you've ever had? Take a moment to let it all out in the comments.

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