Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Don't co-sleep (with your husband)

We've all seen those old television sitcoms (or at the very least, Fred and Wilma Flintstone) where the husband and wife are sleeping in separate beds. This mostly had to do with The Production Code of 1930 (also known also as the Hays Code), which, among other things, forbid showing a married couple with a double bed. Here's a link if you would like to learn more. But maybe they had the right idea.

According to a new study by Toronto's Ryerson University, couples who sleep separately actually sleep better and often report being happier in their marriage. The study has found that 30 to 40 percent of couples sleep apart at night for a variety of reasons that include snoring, not enough room, restless leg syndrome and sleeping environmental issues (think heating/lighting).

You could probably add "becoming a parent" to that list, as first-time moms and dads quickly learn that long-time parents weren't joking when they said, "Congratulations on your new baby! You'll never sleep well again!" Between night-feedings and multiple waking periods as schedules adjust, new parents often forget what their bed even looks like.

So, all of those reasons to sleep separately make a lot of sense to me, but I just can't let go of my husband. Sure, we've made our sleeping arrangements as pleasant as possible: we have a king-sized bed so that we each have more sleeping space, the cat sleeps on my side of the bed at my feet and we've never let our son sleep with us. Do we still have problems? Yes, sometimes we both snore from sickness or poor pillow positioning, I steal the covers, he tosses and turns, I like it as dark as possible, he would prefer the thermostat to be set to permafrost. But through all of this we compromise, and we're still going to sleep together in the same bed. (Maybe we're both just stubborn.)

What about you? Do you sleep separately from your spouse? Is this something you would like to try out and see if it works for you?


  1. We don't sleep separately unless one of us is sick or I am really angry at him (lol). I would actually like to sleep separately because he takes up the covers and most of the bed and likes it dark. I like to read or hang out with my laptop in bed. Plus he uses a sleep machine so it's like sleeping with darth vader! lol. It's an ongoing debate with us.

    1. Maybe the next time you have to stay in a hotel, you should get a room with two beds and try it as an experiment. It may not help with the light/dark issues, but at least you could see what it is like to have all the covers!