One day, at a den meeting I was leading for scouts, I asked the kids to talk about their pets. (That was the focus of the lesson.) I heard a ton of funny pet stories, and could tell how much they loved their pets and why each of their pets were special.
An interesting side effect of this discussion was learning where their pets lived. There were lots of stories indicating that their furry friends were living only at dad's house, or at their grandmother's or at their parent's boyfriend's house.
None of their parents' marital situations interested me. What did interest me is how all of these children had no issues talking about their home lives. Not a single kid felt weird sharing that they only lived with one parent or had multiple homes. And I was pleased to hear that all of these home lives seemed happy (and filled with pets).
This situation would not have played out the same a few generations ago when being the child of divorced parents was still an anomaly. Researchers have been trying to study the impacts of divorce on children for years. And the results from the research keep changing.
Of course it does. I don't think it is possible to completely derive how an entire population will feel about marriage based on their parent's marriage. Marriages are just too complicated for that. So, while I appreciate the attempts to research it, I think it is too hard of a task.
I've asked my son before about his feelings on marriage. (This usually comes up during the game of LIFE in which getting married is part of the game.) He is non-committal about it, which is to be expected from a nine-year-old. I know he observes my husband and I and our relationship, and he asks questions when he has them. Are we shaping his thoughts about marriage? And in which way?
Maybe he'll tell us when he is older.
What do you think your children are learning from your relationship status? Tell me in the comments.
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