I'm teaching you to become an adult

A friend of mine told me (semi-jokingly) where it all went wrong. He said he gave his son a great childhood and they became buddies during his son's teenage years. He said that this is the reason why now - when his son is in his 20s - my friend can't get him to leave the nest. My friend doesn't blame his son: Why would anyone want to trade in a cushy life in a happy home for many poor years in a crappy job and a small apartment?

I thought about my friend and his son while reading this latest study that shows teenagers are delaying adulthood. Standard rites of passage like drivers licenses, summer jobs and leaving for college are often delayed. And while that can be seen as a bad thing, please take notice of other behaviors that are delayed, including teenage drinking and having sex.

I sometimes talk to my son about his future and my expectations of him. We talk about responsibility and how my job is to teach him how to be an adult and take care of himself. He is still at an age where he likes having new responsibilities, but I am sure that the novelty of getting to take out the trash will wear off really soon.

I think a lot of us want better things for our children - better than whatever we had growing up. But in providing that vision of "better" we forget that we are still raising future adults. Yes, they should have a childhood, but I need to make sure that my son knows that I expect him to leave the house one day.

(But he can come home for dinner whenever he wants.)

Are you ever worried that your teen is putting off adulthood? Share your fears in the safe space of the comments.