The myth of the parenting expert

I read a lot of parenting books; I have a few of my favorites on the shelves of our home. I read a lot of child development studies and then talk about them here. I listen to my friends talk about the lives of their families and what is working and what is not. But, I would never consider myself a parenting expert.

In fact, I am not sure that parenting experts really exist, at least not in the volumes that are currently claimed. As parents, we quickly learn that what works best for someone else's child doesn't necessarily translate into something that will work for mine. 

A true parenting expert might be the person who figured out that babies should be put on their backs to sleep at night. And in that case, I might just call that person a baby sleep expert, because just because you figured that one thing out doesn't mean you know how babies work.

So, I do what all parents do: Experiment; learn from results; repeat. Did this method work with my child? Yes, but only for a few weeks. I need to try something else now. Let me try this trick that worked for my friend....oh wait, that didn't work at all. There is also the ongoing issue that my child insists on growing up, so methods need to change to keep up with his growing needs.

If I am really honest, on most days, I wouldn't even call myself an expert on my own child. I mean, I know who he is as a person - his favorite things, his skills, his mood swings, and the ways he likes to get attention - but that doesn't mean that I am always going to know what he needs in that moment.

And I think that is the point: Our children are in a constant state of flux and we are just trying to keep up with them. Like this Mom, who has eight children, admits: She is only an expert on her own children, and then just for a little while.

They are only children for so long.

Who do you listen to for parenting advice? Reveal your source in the comments.