Wednesday, October 31, 2018

The type of study that I stopped reading

Here's the thing: I love my husband.

He's not perfect. He has this talent for standing in the wrong place in the kitchen while I am trying to cook, and he asks me a lot of questions that he could easily look up on Google. But he is perfect for me. He is my knight in shining armor when he helps fix all the little things in my life that go wrong. And he is my absolute best friend so I hate it when I experience something cool/fun/weird and he is not right by my side.

He fits me. And I fit him.

We were together for a long time before we got married. Part of the reason was because we were young. Part of the reason is because we didn't have a lot of money to fund a wedding. And part of the reason is because we wanted to be absolutely sure that this was going to be a marriage that lasted.

Since we've been together, we've had happy times and struggles and figured out parenting together and even learned how to still surprise each other. I love my life with my husband. And that is why I stopped looking at those studies claiming that living together before marriage tends to end in divorce. Or that living together before marriage leads to a strong marriage. Because both of those studies are out there. And they drive me crazy.

It's not the cohabitation bit that decides on the strength of a marriage. It's the people. Some people are a good fit and can last a lifetime - no matter the circumstances before the vows. Some people never need to get married and will be together until death. Some people only fit into your life for a short time and hopefully you are both better people when you part ways.

The goal is to keep all of these things in mind before you start a relationship with someone. And to let your children know about those truths as they grow up.

What type of advice do you no longer listen to? Tell me in the comments.

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